我会永远做你的朋友

红孩儿

　　在英语里，我名字的意思。是希望。在西班牙语里，它意味着太多的字母。它意味着哀伤，意味着等待。它像数字九。一种泥泞的色彩。
　　In English my name means hope. In Spanish it means too many letters. It means sadness,It means waiting. It is like the number nine. A muddy color.
　　
　　
　　
　　后来，她永远没有原谅他。她用一生向窗外凝望，像许多女人那样凝望，胳膊肘支起忧伤。我想知道她是否随遇而安；是否会为做不成她想做的人而伤怀。埃斯佩朗莎。我继承了她的名字，可我不想继承她在窗边的位置。
　　And the story goes she never forgave him. She looked out the window her whole life,the way so many women sit their sadness on an elbow. I wonder if she made the best with what she got or was she sorry because she couldn't be all the things she wanted to be. Esperanza.I have inherited her name, but I don't want to inherit her place by the window.
　　
　　
　　
　　如果你给我五块钱，我会永远做你的朋友。那个小的这么对我说。
　　五块钱很便宜，因为我没有任何朋友，除了凯茜，她是我星期二之前的朋友。
　　If you give me five dollars I will be your firend forever. That's what the little one tells me.
　　Five dollars is cheap since I don't have any firends except Carthy who is only my firend till Tuesday.
　　
　　
　　
　　玛琳，街灯下独自起舞的人，在某个地方唱着同一首歌，我知道，她在等一辆小汽车停下来，等着一颗星星坠落，等一个人改变她的生活。
　　Marin，under the streetlight, dancing by herself, is singing the same song somewhere . I know .Is waiting for a car to stop, a star to fall , someone to change her life .
　　
　　
　　
　　当我太悲伤太瘦弱无法坚持再坚持的时候，当我如此渺小却要对抗这么多砖块的时候，我就会看着树。
　　When I am too sad and too skinny to keep keeping , when I am a tiny thing against so many bricks , then it is I look at trees.
　　
　　
　　
　　有一天我要拥有自己的房子，可我不会忘记我是谁我从哪里来。路过的流浪者会问，我可以进来吗？我会把他们领上阁楼，请他们住下来，因为我知道没有房子的滋味。
　　One day I'll own my own house ,but I won't forget who I am or where I came from .Passing bums will ask , Can I come in? I'll offer them the attic ,ask them on stay ,because I konw how it is to be without a house.
　　
　　
　　
　　我是一个丑丫头。我是那个没人来要的丫头。
　　I am an ugly daughter .I am the one nobody comes for .
　　
　　
　　
　　不是小公寓，也不是阴面的大公寓。也不是哪一个男人的房子。也不是爸爸的。是完完全全我自己的。那里有我的前廊我的枕头，我漂亮的紫色矮牵牛。我的书和我的故事。我的两只等在床边的鞋。不用和谁去作对。没有别人扔下的垃圾要拾起。
　　只是一所寂静如雪的房子，一个自己归去的空间，洁净如同诗笔未落的纸。
　　Not a flat .Not an apartment in back .Not a man's house. Not a daddy's .A house all my own . With my porch and my pillow , my pretty purple petunias . My books and my stories . My two shoes waiting beside the bed .Nobody to shake a stick at . Nobdy's garbage to pick up after.
　　Only a house quiet as snow ,a space for myself to go ,clean as paper before the poem.
　　
　　
　　
　　他们不会知道，我离开是为了回来。为了那些我留在身后的人。为了那些无法出去的人。
　　They will not know I have gone away to come back .For the ones I left behind .For the ones who cannot out.